Die-alogue

Ok, sometimes I think of dialogue things like this, and I write them out. Sorry for the lack of context, proper names, and the absence of effort in writing it like a screenplay should be presented. It also probably isn’t very good. In my defense, I’m lazy, and every name I come up with just seems stupid. It’s probably something that once again could be part of a larger idea. I suppose it could be a part of some wacky sitcom about Friends, just like that show Frasier.

Friend #1

You do realize you’re watching a show for three year olds, don’t you?

Friend #2

I want to see if the wizard gets his wand back.

Friend #1

I see. Anyway, can you give me a ride?

Friend #2

To where?

Friend #1

Another job interview.

Friend #2

Another one? Why don’t you just accept that the first step towards death is trying to do anything. Just do nothing. It’s much safer. I mean, just stepping out of your door is taking your life in your hands these days. Remember Mike? He landed that job in IT, and then a week later – bang, dead.

Friend #1

He was killed in a freak piano accident.

Friend #2

Exactly.

Friend #1

So, you’re saying that if he’d never taken that job ..

Friend #2

Or left his house.

Friend #1

Or left his house, he wouldn’t have died.

Friend #2

Exactly. Well, maybe. He could have slipped in the shower or had a train crash into his house or something. I’ve forgotten what point I was trying to make. What’s this job?

Friend #1

Some marketing thing. The guys name is Chad. I hate him already.

Friend #2

Why go then?

Friend #1

I don’t know. I’ve made the appointment. I hate cancelling things – I get nervous and either say I’ll be there earlier or that I’ll order four more.

Friend #2

Well, let’s go then. Maybe put pants on first, though.

(LATER, IN CAR)

Friend #1

Why are there bowls everywhere in here? It’s disgusting.

Friend #2

I eat cereal in here. I just throw them back there. It’s what a backseat is made for, throwing random shit on it. And who has passengers nowadays, what with social media and all.

Friend #1

There’s a backseat?

Friend #2

Somewhere back there. I saw it yesterday.

Friend #1

I hear something moving.

Friend #2

So my cars messy, so what.

Friend #1

There’s a plant growing out of your glovebox.

Friend #2

Look, Sir Fancy, next time why you don’t take your own nice, clean car. I bet it’s solid gold, with like .. diamonds for windows, and stuff.

Friend #1

I wouldn’t be able to see.

Friend #2

Oh that wouldn’t stop Sir Fancy, would it. You’d just activate ‘Fancy Vision’.

Friend #1

Are you done? We’re here. I won’t be long.

Friend #2

No rush.

I actually have more, but typing it out is giving me a large case of ‘cbf’. Maybe some other time.

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